faith, family, it's a girl, love, motherhood, surviving motherhood, toddlerhood

You are five

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June 20, 2020

Dear Juliana,

You are FIVE today. My heart breaks and then gets put together all over again watching you grow up. It is so hard for a mama to watch her FIRST baby grow up. You are kind, sweet, fierce, and empathetic. Sometimes I just want to say sorry that you are just like me, but then I remember we have special powers. We feel feelings out loud and you feel all my feelings that I try to hide out loud. You are not afraid of anything and you lead with your heart. I love when we cuddle and you melt into my arms at night. You made ME a mama and I made YOU a daughter. For that I am so thankful.

You are FIVE years old today- my princess, my best friend, my soul mate, my get dressed by myself, get my breakfast and snacks all ready by myself, my take care of Hudson best big sister baby girl, my guiding light and my sunshine. You are a light in this world and you sparkle with confidence. I love our talks at night and when I tell you that someday we may not be this close, you hold my face and tell me you will always love me. You are growing up so fast that I want to yell at time and tell it to stop. I’m so afraid to lose you. I love to watch you play with your dolls, ride your bike, take care of Hudson, dance, and laugh. I want to keep you like this forever and ever, where the days are long and you are safe in our house where you love to be.

You are five years old in a pandemic called Coronavirus. And as much as this pandemic has taken some things away from us- like preschool graduation, birthday parties, play dates, going into stores without a mask, going to school- it has given us TIME. You haven’t been to school since March 13 and you haven’t seen your friends in forever. But mommy thanks the virus for giving me more time with you. My favorite thing in the world is when you asking me for mommy time, where we play in your room, just you and I. Or we go to Target, just you and I. Go swimming at night just you and I. These are the moments I want to put in my pocket and keep there forever.

Dear baby, keep conquering the world. Stay unafraid to be yourself. Stay bold and caring at the same time. Feel your feelings out loud and never say sorry. I hope I never lose you because our hearts are connected. You will always find your way back. I love you Juliana Marie Coro, my big 5 year old shining star.

Love, Mama

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