I see you. I see you working all the time… being a mama, a teacher, a full time worker, a wife, a communicator, a good friend. I see you trying to be the best. I see you waking up early to immediate anxiety of having to get the kids up and ready for school/daycare. I see you trying to put out fires left and right- your toddler doesn’t want to wake up. She wants to keep her jammies on. Your other toddler is running around the house and you forgot to even look in the mirror. You spilled your one and only chance to make a decaf coffee- because if you drink caffeine your anxiety will be worse. You hide it so well mama… trying to be happy all the time for everyone around you. I see you rushing everywhere. I see you late to work. I see you non stop at work with kids that you love like they are your own. I see you eating lunch while you’re standing up. I see you trying to navigate many personalities, but often feeling helpless. I see you always being needed. I see you leaving work early just to get a few minutes of solitude alone to breathe.
I see you. I see you doing 50 loads of laundry, cooking dinner, changing diapers , managing two toddlers- a professional multitasker, trying so desperately to get a minute alone to collect yourself. I see you tired, exhausted and on edge that every conversation with your husband is a fight or a competition.
I see you feeling lonely because no one really calls you anymore to see how you are. The world is so busy- not a lot of people care because they are busy too. Your best friends are all busy and tired and in the same boat. I see you crying- feeling isolated, guilty, lonely, exhausted, anxious, burnt out, tired of giving all day long – all week long- every single day with a couple minutes of solitude to breathe but it’s not enough. I see you staring in the mirror saying how beautiful you are out loud so your daughter can grow up with self confidence, but deep inside you’re picking everything apart. I see you being jealous of everyone else- especially the people who seem to “have it all together.”
But I also see you being selfless, wearing every single hat in life- Mom, working mom, wife, daughter, friend, etc. and doing it amazingly. I see your children loving you unconditionally even on your worst days. I see you trying to love yourself so you can be the best version of yourself. I see you making new friends that you can relate to- like a support group . I see you setting goals and accomplishing them. I see your passion guiding you through this crazy busy life. I see you happy more than I see you sad. I see you in those little moments of solitude thanking God for your beautiful family and your beautiful life. I see you trying to pee with both kids at your feet laughing and telling you how much they love you. I see you having dance parties in the kitchen with the music cranked and you’re laughing and dancing. I see you staring down at your youngest while you nurse and praying they would stay little. I see you in your element and you shine so bright.
I wish someone would say these things to me. Dear mama, you are so much more than that. You are someone’s world- no matter what mood you are in or what kind of day you had- you are beautiful. God gives you these moments because he knows you got this. You got this life. Even if all you have is a few minutes alone everyday, breathe it in and breathe it out. Even if the people you thought would see you don’t- I see you. And you can do this. When you feel like giving up or you feel alone, do it for those innocent loves (who can sometimes be so terrible that they are the ones you want to run away from)- but know they will never give up on you. You got this.