This was the best summer and I feel a little guilty saying this because a lot of the summer I spent with me, myself and I. My kids went to daycare full time because we still pay, I worked summer school for a month, and the rest of my time I spent at the pool with a book, running/training, teaching Zumba and/or at Starbucks by myself. I went back and forth between missing my kids and not. Any seasoned mama understands this statement so much. I am so in love with my kids, but sometimes we need a break.
I needed this summer SO SO bad; more than I actually thought I did. I needed to find myself again because as working mama’s, we tend to lose ourselves in the grind of everyday life and our jobs. We give, give, give to everything else that we naturally neglect ourselves. I really am SO blessed that I was able to send the kids to daycare, still work summer school, and take care of ME for the first time in 3 years.
As teachers and mothers, we really never stop working, but I will admit that this summer I finally turned my brain off to that part of my life. I got to pursue hobbies that I don’t get to do during the school year. For some reason, I am really emotional because in the past I have had to say goodbye to my kids as I drop them off at daycare for the first time ever or after a long weekend and those who know me know I was a HOT MESS. But this time, I feel like I am saying goodbye to me if that makes sense. I have a new outlook on life and I feel pretty armed with positivity going into this school year, but I don’t want summer to end. Not just because of me time, but because summer ending represents time passing by way too quickly and no more hot weather haha.
This isn’t meant to be a sad post, but I am feeling emotional as we approach the last few days of summer. This summer is symbolic in a lot of ways- my kids are growing up way too fast, time is precious, and I found myself and fell in love with myself all over again. Damn you August for ending.
I know some people may think it’s annoying because with my job, I get a few months off every year so I shouldn’t complain ever. But I run out of gas during the school year because anyone knows when you work with kids 24/7- literally, you burn out quickly. Rush to get the kids ready, forget to look presentable, be late to work, work with kids all day long sometimes no lunch, come home to 2 little humans who are 110% dependent on you, rush to eat dinner, give baths, and go to bed…to have one of them wake up screaming as another one is attached to your boob all night long. ALLLLL to wake up and do it again. In this season of mom life, rushing and exhaustion is part of the game.
This summer was such a blessing for me as we went on vacation to Vermont with Howie’s family, I got 1 on 1 time with Jules, I got to read all the books on my wish list, I cleaned my house with no anxiety, I sat in Starbucks in a hoodie drinking a venti iced decaf coffee with sugar free vanilla and a perfect bar almost everyday (whoops), I was able to train for my half marathon properly/sometimes with kids on the treadmill, learned more about nutrition, discovered 1st Phorm (thank you guys), I started lifting weights, and SO much more. I loved not rushing to get my kids ready in the mornings or at night to get them to bed early so we can wake up the next day not cranky.
Dear summer 2018, you were good. You were freakin’ good. I wish you didn’t have to end because that means time is FLYING.
So as I prep for the upcoming school year, I will remember to breathe through this season of life- the meetings, the jam-packed schedules, the rushing around to make lunches for daycare and work, trying to fit in my runs or workouts, etc. I CAN do this. I can balance being a mama and a teacher. I may be a hot mess a lot of the time, but I can do this. Just breathe mama, you got this.